Tuesday, July 14, 2009

What's it like to be a child?

What does it mean to be a child?
- Believing in magic.
- Sitting atop a guava tree and eating fruits until my tummy is filled to bursting.
- Eating green mangoes until my tongue is raw.
- Playing until I am exhausted
- Running until my heart is about to jump out of me.
- Reading in my tree house.
- Exploring woods and fields with cousins and friends.
- Swinging from one tree to the next.
- Coming home all covered in mud.
- Hunting spiders and...
- Pitting those spiders against other spiders owned by boys.
- Playing in voluminous skirts and with ribbons in my hair.
- Dressing up in my mother's clothes.
- Swimming all day and...
- At night feeling lulled to sleep by the waves.
- Reading until I'm blind.
- Wanting everything in cartoons to be real.

- Falling off trees.
- Chasing after dragonflies.
- Caring for birds with broken wings.
- Hiding in books whenever my father yells and screams and breaks our hearts.
- Sitting cross-legged on the floor while my grandpa reads me stories.
- Watching yellow butterflies in my mother's garden.
- Helping my grandpa plant vegetables and trees.
- Pretending my grandpa's mushrooms had elves living in them.
- Playing under a full moon.
- Watching all kinds of animals give birth.
- Stealing eggs from mother hens.
- Waiting to grow up and see the worlds I read about.
- Laughing until my tummy hurts.
- Reading until I can no longer hear my parents fight.
- Wishing the adults were kinder.
- And lastly, wishing I was small enough to live in a flower. pictures: from a trip to Tokyo Disneyland with my ma


Friday, July 10, 2009

Food's magic

What makes a food special? I've tried all sorts of food from different countries but this hearty dish of jackfruit and crabs in coconut milk remains my absolute favorite. I rave about food cooked by foreign friends, and I believe I've experienced something close to ecstasy in exotic restaurants and yet, yet, this particular dish in the picture remains lodged in my heart as number one.

It's not my mother's, this one in the picture. It was cooked by an aunt I stayed with in Donsol, a town known for whale sharks. I squealed with delight when she greeted me with it when I came in at noon one day. This aunt of mine is a wonderful cook but my mother does this jackfruit and crabs dish better. Hers is creamier and spicier. Or perhaps, my mother's is not better, it is simply what I have always loved. Food and memories play tricks on the mind.

I'm curious, what makes a certain food your favorite. Please tell me yours.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Friends and chocolates

A box of delicious chocolates and a thoughtful friend who gave it to you can transform a drab day into something wonderful.

Friends make life sweeter, with or without chocolates.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Kids (all in my head)

It's Friday again. Time flies. I guess it seems that way because our week here was cut short. Monday was a holiday. One of the things I love about Chile is it has so many religious holidays.

I'm hoping this weekend will not be as toxic as the last. We went to a friend's birthday and it was a hell of a smoking party, literally. The living room was closed off from the rest of the house because of the cold and the cats, so most people spent the night coughing up and the rest of us inhaling cigarette smoke. But I smiled through it even though I didn't touch a cigarette. I woke up with a sore throat the next day. Toxic. Very toxic. I think I inhaled enough smoke that night to last me several months.

Anyway, I thought, during one of the conversations I couldn't follow (they were talking about TV icons when they were kids), that the people in that room was a representative of the population the Chilean government has been trying to convince to start off with pregnancy and kids. Young, in their late 20's and early 30's, all with stable jobs, all with college education, some even post-graduate studies, and no kids. Instead, they have pets. No judgment from me. I neither have kids nor pets.

I just wonder what's happening to most members of the age group I belong to. Having children seems to be the least of our concerns. If the time comes and we cannot, even though we want desperately to have a child, will we regret it? Perhaps there will be a great deal of regret. It's not something I'd want to happen to me. I don't want to go through that kind of regret. And yet, I have several reasons (numbered in order of importance in my head) for not having children for the next couple of years, at least.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Dreams are hard to keep

What do you do when things are not going your way?

I wish I could say like I used to: shop and then stop for the richest, darkest chocolate cake. Well, things are not that simple now. First, I'm no longer a student. The university life was such a wonderful, pink gossamer-lined cocoon. In those times, problems seemed to wither away with a good laugh and a giant plate of dessert. Second, I no longer live near my friends. I'm so far away, and on some days I feel not only lost, but stuck.

Oh yes, there are novelties to being in a foreign country that speaks a foreign tongue. So many rewarding things come with a new life in a new place. But there are hardships, and on really hard days, I wish I had my old friends to run to.

My Andrés, bless him, does everything to make my life easier. That means the world to me. But loneliness has a way of clawing itself in. It seems to me so ancient and wise. It knows exactly where to dwell.

P.S. I don't want my Friday post to be so sad, so I'm sharing these pretty flowers Andrés gave me. They do help. Beauty soothes, somehow.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Much ado about weekend

It's Friday! I'm so glad.

I'm thinking of having a sinigang party this Sunday. It took me a long time to find tamarind mix for one of my favorite Filipino dishes, and now that I finally did, I am so excited to cook up a big pot of spicy sinigang for my Chilean friends. They have no idea what it is, so it's going to be fun.

Sometimes I don't understand how I can get so excited over a weekend. I mean, it's only two days and half of it is usually eaten up doing errands, but I love it. I love weekends. I'm hoping to catch a movie and spend a few hours reading Roberto Bolaño's big tome of a book called 2666. It's an impressive work. I'm loving it, but I'm taking my time since it's in Spanish. I'm just so careful not to trip over the words (as always). It's easier when Andrés is right next to me when I read so I don't have to pore over the crumbling dictionary we have.

I hope you all enjoy your weekend. If anything, it does provide for a break from routine, and the few more hours of z's do not hurt either.

Friday, June 12, 2009

One woman's poison

I've been told of a story of someone's aunt. She met a man, fell in love, got married, and had two children. Fifteen years later, everyone found out she has been seeing another man since the beginning of her marriage. She kept the same lover for fifteen years and nobody knew until it all blew up several months ago. She has led a double life and now everyone hates her for it, especially her daughter.

The audacity of her life and her lie makes everyone feel indignant. Some say you really can't tell much by looking at people. Oh, but how dare she? When some of us are bored to death by the devastating tiresomeness of marriage. Yet, we did not do anything, did we? No. We have kept our heads.

Ah, the delight we take when it's our turn to point our fingers. I just wonder how long will the children take to get past this.